I live to discover
I live to create
I live to cultivate
I’ve always felt like I didn’t fit in anywhere. Either, I was too cool or too nerdy, too sporty or too prissy. I think middle school was the closest I have ever been to being part of a clique. I’m a loaner but I’m social. My mother used to say to me “child, you talk too much, you never shut up”, (a saying from the mother land, I would assume) yet, I can sit in my home for a week without any contact from the outside world. After my mother passed away, although I was an adult, I was extremely lost. She was my rock, my guide, my protection, my truth. I would converse with her about my goals and before making big decisions. Anything she told me I didn’t question, so when she left I became lost and fell into a deep depression. That constant discomfort of not having her reassurance before making decisions, led me to begin my journey of self-discovery. I had to find my truth and although it has been challenging, my desire to observe and reflect, to understand and do better is the reason why I live.
I am motivated by self-improvement. Hence the blog title Custom-made in New York. So many experiences, downfalls, successes that have molded me into the woman I am today. Over the last few years I have developed the mindset that I no longer want to be a people-pleaser, instead subservient to God. God is my world. Although it may not be evident to some because I don’t go to church every Sunday and I engage in certain activities that many may view as “ungodly,” I am building my own relationship with God; one day at a time. I am finding ways to create a life worth living by seeking my own definition of happiness. I don’t live to compete. I live to I learn, I live to build, I live create.
Growing up in the South Bronx, in a home of an immigrant single mother, I was at a disadvantage for really understanding what the world offers. I have no regrets as to where I have been or where life has taken me, but I may have been able to make better decisions knowing what I understand today. Which is why I want to help elevate my community, through inspiration and education so that we become the best versions of ourselves. According the US census on the female population of age 25 and over, 11% of females who resided in the Bronx had obtained a Bachelor’s degree or higher. I know we can do better, but how? I have chosen to mentor a group of 15 young females in hopes of increasing these numbers. It’s a small number but it’s a start. As Maya Angelou stated “I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better,” which is why I live to cultivate.
My journey of self-discovery continues but three things that I am confident of are that
I live to discover, I live to create, I live to cultivate. I have no idea where life will take me, but I am here to share my journey with you.